Another failure

fuuuuuuuck fuck no no no no please no this is not happening! what is it that makes me do these things? why can't i ever be at exactly the right place at the right time, why can't i endure pain on my own, alone, why do I leave the exact place where I'm supposed to be.

If I'd just stayed home .. nothing would be the same

and now you're gone, there's only pain and nothing i can do
cause I don't want to live this life
If I can't live for you